It was a dark and stormy night. The rain was heavy against his windshield, like seagull shit hitting the sidewalk, or someone's bald head.
I remember that the most remarkable thing about Bobby, was that he could write his name in the snow without using his hands.
There is nothing quite like a grilled cheese sandwhich. Two slices of bread, butter on each side, each side lightly toasted and then flipped over. With thin slices of sharp cheddar and provilone crossways on the toasted inside, and heated until its all melted and gooey. Finally, when the outside is toasted golden, you put the two pieces together, take a bite, chew, savor, make that yummy sound that happens without you expecting it, and finally washing it down by a nice, cold, swallow of whole, frothy milk.
Not that he was likely to ever taste one again, not stripped, and strapped to an examination table by the Grellic. Or was it a butcher table? He wasn't sure. Was this the bunch that ate humans, preparing gormet meals so scrumptious that it was (almost) an honor to be an ingredient? Or was this the bunch that kept them as livestock. Modifying humans as needed for milk production. And which was worse, really? As the main course, or dessert or whatever, at least the death was quick.
Autopsies For Dummies
A Collection of Methods and Recipes
Chapter 1 - The Autopsy Room
It is important that you prepare your autopsy room. Some essentials are:
Chapter 2 - The patient
It is important to properly prepare your patient. For starters, he should be dead. There are several effective ways to ensure this, but if you are impatient, just plunge right in, so to speak. To date, no one has ever survived an autopsy.
Chapter 3 - Procedure
How to Extract Someone's Liver without leaving a Trace.
The Way of the Curmudgeon
The Curmudgeon's Creed:
"Don’t be optimistic if you can justify pessimism".
Merriam-Webster defines a curmudgeon as:
"a person (especially an old man) who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains"
Wictionary defines a curmudgeon as:
"An ill-tempered (and frequently old) person full of stubborn ideas or opinions."
I don't have a better definition, so I accept these. But I don't have to be happy about it.
It is not that hard to become a curmudgeon. It is harder to remain one. One thing that helps is to remember that if things seem to be going well, you are probably missing something.
A curmudgeon should surround himself with beauty. But he should never let it spoil the mood. Bad moods should be savored, not rushed through.
Curmudgeons are seldom disappointed. They know that people are "no damn good", so they don't expect anything.
Curmudgeons are always optomistic that the pessimism will prove justified.